Trying Not To Listen, Noise Gets Louder

It’s funny how, when trying not to listen, noise gets louder.

I listen to gentle pattering of rain droplets on the windows in this little cabin.  The most enchanting blooms of perfect pink roses grow on wild bushes out back.  For endless years of city living, my heart ached to live in the woods in a small log cabin.  My spirit is in paradise.

A few moments of solitude this morning in silence.  Well… near silence.  Small, twittering birds dance amongst the tiny, cool rain-mist droplets with soft little chirps while the clock on the kitchen wall takes advantage of the quietness, making itself known with an increasingly louder monotony of tick tocks.  The harder I try to not hear it, the louder the ticking seems to be.

What a joy to be able to remove the battery!

Not so with my monkey-mind thoughts, nor with the habitual ‘white noise’ in my ears from too much time spent with no time for silence.   Like the clock, my thoughts and busy-ness also grow louder as I try to not listen to them.   Giving my attention and effort to avoiding them gives them power, because attention is attention, no matter what kind.

So I gently turn my attention elsewhere, to the silence, to the heartful thankfulness for where I am in this moment.

Eyes open yet resting, I breathe in deep, cleansing breaths.  I breathe out affirmation of my trust that everything is exactly in the place it needs to be right now.

I do not try to rid myself of the thoughts nor the busy-ness.

I do not do anything.  I simply breathe and Be.

Silence.

And finally, I am quiet.